Yikes! Has it really been so long?
Life just kind of kicked my butt. I had to move three times (four, if you count the two days I spent riding the subway, with no clue where I’d go) since I last posted. My mom and I lost our chance at the relationship we once had when she threw me out (while I had no income, and nowhere else to live). I was booted from a crafting website because I was very late to return a swap I was hosting (and once kicked out, I didn’t have a way to contact any of the participants for their address to mail them out). I felt like I not only lost my family, but my crafting community as well. I felt empty, like I was left with nothing and no one.
Luckily, I have a very kind ex-boyfriend who let me move in with him so I wasn’t homeless. It’s a weird day when your ex treats you better than your family does.
This post isn’t meant to be a ‘poor, poor pitiful me’ thread though. I’m writing this to talk about family. And while you can’t pick your relatives, you can surround yourself with supportive friends and create a family like none you’ve been given.
This series of dismal life events also taught me the true meaning of ‘there but for the grace of God go I’, because I was thisclose to being homeless and it was the scariest feeling in the world. I wasn’t any of the negative things people associate with homeless people- I wasn’t crazy, a drunk, or a junkie. I was just someone who had no money, no family support, and was just trying to go to college to better myself.
Even if you aren’t someone who prays, please take a moment to be thankful for what you have. I learned just how quickly life can go from great to horrible, and even then I was grateful for the little things… like the local Food Pantry, an emergency MetroCard (for the subway) from my school, and my ex rescuing me. And at least I still had my health (excluding the months of depression).
I apologize to those I have ignored or lost contact with. I was just trying to survive day-by-day these last months. I know, I know ‘excuses are like buttholes, we each have one and they all stink’. This isn’t meant as an excuse, just an apology.